"So this is how it ends" is the first line of a song I heard on the radio after finding out about some horrible news. The song is "Red Light" by David Nail. And, now over a month later I still get a little teary eyed when that first line comes on the radio...because it brings me back to the moment the radiologist told us our baby was gone and there was no heartbeat.
I've delayed in posting something new here on my blog mainly because it's been a hard thing for me to read the posting just before this--the one from February. I think I'm getting a little better about it...but it's still hard. You see I had a miscarriage. We found out at the ultrasound on March 12th when I was 11 weeks. But the baby only measure at 8 1/2 weeks which is about the last time I posted on here! Losing our baby has been difficult for me--some days are better than others. Life goes on no matter what happens & sometimes that's one of the harder things for me to understand. I feel like we should have moments that stop time so we can cope...but that doesn't make much sense & that's not how life is--so we must go on & learn how to handle what has happened in the best way possible.
Miscarriage has been a whole new experience for me. It's been full of sadness and loss, but also lots of love and caring at the same time.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Almost 9 weeks...
I think I've already let the 'cat out of the bag' on facebook...so I might as well here...I AM PREGNANT!!! And, if you can't tell we are very happy & excited about a new addition to our family! Shane will have a little baby brother or sister! Dustin & I are very much over the moon about this....And, as my title says I am almost 9 weeks along. Tomorrow will be the 9 week mark. I am due on Sept 29th--which is my cousin, Kim's birthday--but I'll most likely have the baby a week or two before then. I have been quite sick & very exhausted w/this pregnancy, too. So it's been a struggle, but today's been a wonderful day(thankfully!) and I'm hoping for many more days like this one. I am so grateful for my amazing husband--he's been helping me out so much w/everything. And, Shane is my little helper, too--or at least he tries to be--the little darling!
Well, I'll end my post for now & write again soon....Love you lots!
Well, I'll end my post for now & write again soon....Love you lots!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Up in the Night
Here it is 3:30 am & I am wide AWAKE! I've been counting sheep(not really!) But I have been going through different things in my mind to help me go back to sleep & so far none of it is working...so here I am blogging away in the middle of the night-or should I say early morning?
Patience is something I really need to work on & develop more. The funny thing is I posted something about needing to be more patient on facebook yesterday & I got all kinds of responses that they need to do the same thing! I guess I'm not alone in my quest to improve an aspect of my life! The crazy thing about getting so impatient is that many times we have no control over the other thing or person that we're letting ourselves get impatient about...we spend so much time snapping to be impatient that we forget to calm down & chill for just a moment. And, maybe in that moment we would realize the need to slow down & think about how we're acting and start being more patient w/ourselves, others, & things. I know this is a learning process & it's for our own good--it's just convincing myself of that to believe it!
Another issue I need to work on is motivation. I'm feeling a huge lack of this in my life as of late & it's starting to bother me to the point where I know I need to do something about it. I've felt so tired lately, too--so my struggle to find motivation has been tampered by my fatigue.
I hate to be blogging so negatively! Sorry about that...I need to move on to happier things! Hmmm...let's see--this year 2010 seems to be turning into an exciting year. I'm looking forward to all that will happen. Shane is blossoming into such a busy little boy more & more each day. I love him dearly even though he does try my patience, send me on chases(after him), have little tantrums, & give me stinky presents. He's my little boy & I love him more than I ever thought I could ever love a baby! Dustin, my honey, is wonderful. He is so patient & understanding. I am thankful every day that I found my best friend. I love Dustin w/all my heart.
My card making makes me happy, but I haven't done a lot of it this year so far. I need to do more of this--to have more cards made & to give myself some 'me-time' so I'll be happier! My 'me-time' doesn't get to happen too often, so I have to enjoy it whenever I get a chance. I also need to work on scrapbooking...it seems there's always so much to accomplish & not enough time to do it don't you think? I still need to do a scrapbook for Shane for his first year, then start his scrapbook...then make a scrapbook for Dustin for the Valentine present I gave him last year...then I need to do a scrapbook for our wedding almost a year ago! I definitely don't have enough hours in the day for all of that...so I need to prioritize & bit by bit I'll get it all done!
Well, I think I will head back to bed instead of being 'up in the night.' So, take care for now & I'll write more again at a later date!
Love,
--Shelly
Patience is something I really need to work on & develop more. The funny thing is I posted something about needing to be more patient on facebook yesterday & I got all kinds of responses that they need to do the same thing! I guess I'm not alone in my quest to improve an aspect of my life! The crazy thing about getting so impatient is that many times we have no control over the other thing or person that we're letting ourselves get impatient about...we spend so much time snapping to be impatient that we forget to calm down & chill for just a moment. And, maybe in that moment we would realize the need to slow down & think about how we're acting and start being more patient w/ourselves, others, & things. I know this is a learning process & it's for our own good--it's just convincing myself of that to believe it!
Another issue I need to work on is motivation. I'm feeling a huge lack of this in my life as of late & it's starting to bother me to the point where I know I need to do something about it. I've felt so tired lately, too--so my struggle to find motivation has been tampered by my fatigue.
I hate to be blogging so negatively! Sorry about that...I need to move on to happier things! Hmmm...let's see--this year 2010 seems to be turning into an exciting year. I'm looking forward to all that will happen. Shane is blossoming into such a busy little boy more & more each day. I love him dearly even though he does try my patience, send me on chases(after him), have little tantrums, & give me stinky presents. He's my little boy & I love him more than I ever thought I could ever love a baby! Dustin, my honey, is wonderful. He is so patient & understanding. I am thankful every day that I found my best friend. I love Dustin w/all my heart.
My card making makes me happy, but I haven't done a lot of it this year so far. I need to do more of this--to have more cards made & to give myself some 'me-time' so I'll be happier! My 'me-time' doesn't get to happen too often, so I have to enjoy it whenever I get a chance. I also need to work on scrapbooking...it seems there's always so much to accomplish & not enough time to do it don't you think? I still need to do a scrapbook for Shane for his first year, then start his scrapbook...then make a scrapbook for Dustin for the Valentine present I gave him last year...then I need to do a scrapbook for our wedding almost a year ago! I definitely don't have enough hours in the day for all of that...so I need to prioritize & bit by bit I'll get it all done!
Well, I think I will head back to bed instead of being 'up in the night.' So, take care for now & I'll write more again at a later date!
Love,
--Shelly
Friday, January 15, 2010
Another day...
Good afternoon! I thought I'd type in a quick blog before my son wakes up & my sis-in-law Wendy shows up. This week has gone by slow it seems...maybe it's because I've been mulling many things around in my heart & head. I have been working on coming up w/a few resolutions, but for some reason it seems harder for me to do--? I guess it's because I want to be successful in doing the resolutions, so I need to choose wisely. I know I need & want to be healthier for many reasons. And, I know I want to get back into doing family history a bit. And, I want to continue w/all my scrapbooking & card making. It's just finding the time for all of it--that's the hard thing!
On a sad note, my dear Uncle Dewey passed away Monday, January 11th. He was 89 yrs old. Dewey was such a special man & he will be missed by us all. But at the same time he, I know he had a very joyous reunion in heaven w/his wife & all his other family members who have passed before him. I love you, Uncle Dewey!
Well, I'll end this blog post for now. Take care!
Love,
--Shelly
On a sad note, my dear Uncle Dewey passed away Monday, January 11th. He was 89 yrs old. Dewey was such a special man & he will be missed by us all. But at the same time he, I know he had a very joyous reunion in heaven w/his wife & all his other family members who have passed before him. I love you, Uncle Dewey!
Well, I'll end this blog post for now. Take care!
Love,
--Shelly
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
2010 here we are...
Wow, it's hard to believe that it's already been 2 weeks into the new year! ANd, it's a whole new decade at that--2010!!! Where did the last 10yrs go--?
Well, to make a long story short...I moved from Salt Lake City, UT in Sept 2000 back to Burley, ID. Let me rewind a bit here--I lost my job at the finance company I worked for in Salt Lake, so I decided to move back to Burley & live in a smaller town. I had grown tired of the big city life. I went back to school for a few years (at ISU & CSI) while working at Wal-Mart in Burley. Then in 2005-2006 I began to get burned out of my job...so early 2006 I started my job hunt in Twin Falls, ID. I had also decided I needed a change of scenery & Twin seemed to fit the bill. I got a job at The Home Depot in Twin, quit Wal-Mart & moved to Twin Falls. I loved living in Twin--living by the canyon was awesome. My walks by the canyon rim were peaceful & healthy for me, too! Then came August 2008 when I became a mother for the first time! Shane Kolby--my baby boy is amazing! He keeps us on our toes & keeps us young that's for sure! Late November 2008 I got a phone call from a lady in our ward. It was Elaine Richman & she asked me if she could give her nephew my phone number. I told her why not & gave her my number. I met Dustin Child on December 13, 2008 & it was definitely 'history in the making' like the Darius Rucker song says. We started talking every day & seeing each other often. Then Valentine's 2009 came & Dustin proposed. We got married March 21, 2009. Then we moved to little Dell, Montana a month later on April 17th. And, now here it is January 2010! Wow--my cup runneth over for all the love & blessings I have received & been given in the last little while! Dustin is my man & I am his lady! And, we have our little man-man(Shane)!
I know I sped through a few years through the past decade, but sometimes that's the best thing to do. I still have memories of those years, but I felt like fast-forwarding to a more recent time & place for my blog! And, you know I couldn't have made it through all that I've endured & enjoyed w/out the love of my family! They are wonderful! And I am forever thankful for them!
Love,
--Shelly
Well, to make a long story short...I moved from Salt Lake City, UT in Sept 2000 back to Burley, ID. Let me rewind a bit here--I lost my job at the finance company I worked for in Salt Lake, so I decided to move back to Burley & live in a smaller town. I had grown tired of the big city life. I went back to school for a few years (at ISU & CSI) while working at Wal-Mart in Burley. Then in 2005-2006 I began to get burned out of my job...so early 2006 I started my job hunt in Twin Falls, ID. I had also decided I needed a change of scenery & Twin seemed to fit the bill. I got a job at The Home Depot in Twin, quit Wal-Mart & moved to Twin Falls. I loved living in Twin--living by the canyon was awesome. My walks by the canyon rim were peaceful & healthy for me, too! Then came August 2008 when I became a mother for the first time! Shane Kolby--my baby boy is amazing! He keeps us on our toes & keeps us young that's for sure! Late November 2008 I got a phone call from a lady in our ward. It was Elaine Richman & she asked me if she could give her nephew my phone number. I told her why not & gave her my number. I met Dustin Child on December 13, 2008 & it was definitely 'history in the making' like the Darius Rucker song says. We started talking every day & seeing each other often. Then Valentine's 2009 came & Dustin proposed. We got married March 21, 2009. Then we moved to little Dell, Montana a month later on April 17th. And, now here it is January 2010! Wow--my cup runneth over for all the love & blessings I have received & been given in the last little while! Dustin is my man & I am his lady! And, we have our little man-man(Shane)!
I know I sped through a few years through the past decade, but sometimes that's the best thing to do. I still have memories of those years, but I felt like fast-forwarding to a more recent time & place for my blog! And, you know I couldn't have made it through all that I've endured & enjoyed w/out the love of my family! They are wonderful! And I am forever thankful for them!
Love,
--Shelly
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